Cat Spit Misseries--Epuhsode 1, Part Free

Chapper 6: Sumfin Skwurly

Hansum, wunnerful, debbinair, jeenyus, jenrus cat-abot-town, Mr. Bob Buttons wuz in kwandry abot whut wuz happnin' fur 2 git spit on his cat toys wat wuz not his spit. Big Urnge, teh cat w'at wuz brot 2 his kingdom, hepped him innerview Stubby Kay teh Skray, a cat wiht haff a tail. Big Urnge wuz tryin' 2 hide Bob's toys frum teh Evul Skwurl Brudders hoo had sumhow got inside teh manchin & tooked Bob's cat toys. Tihs is wher teh story lef' off. Now u iz cot up on preevus chappers. Reed on. 

 

"Big Urnge, we will git hyommin staff 2 open doors so we kin kech tehm Evul Skwurl Brudders urly n teh moarnin; fur interrogayshin!" Mr. Bob promeownsd.

Nex moarnin Bob saw teh Evul Skwurl Brudders unner teh oak tree n teh bakyard ov hiz kingdom. Wun ov tehm wuz nex 2 teh bush eatin' Bob's acorns wile teh udder wun wuz keepin lookowt on teh trunk ov teh tree.

Mr. Bob mooved N closer. "CHEE!! CHEE!!CAT! CAT!" skreeched teh swurl on teh tree.

"Look, Evul Skwurls," sed Mr. Bob. "Ai duznt wanna chase u 2day. Ai jus' want mai toys bak."

"Wha'?" sed teh evul skwurl unner teh bush. He had mooved closer 2 teh tree.

 

 

"Cat is tryin' to trik us cuz he knos he cant kech us!" sed teh skwurl on teh tree. "Come, come come come, Brudder! Less go!"

"Up the tree! Up teh tree! Wher teh cat cant folla me! Silly cat! Has no claws!" an' he run up teh tree wiht his evul brudder. Frum bottom branch tehy tawnted Mr. Bob. "No claws! No claws! CHEE CHEE!"
"LOKK YOU IJITS! AI JUS' WANT MAI TOYS BAK WIHTTOWT YER SPIT ON TEHM!" Bob skreemd.
"Silly clawless cat!" sed wun ov teh brudders. "U kno skwurls dont play wiht cats' toys!"
"Yah!" giggled teh udder brudder."U is tryin' 2 trik us 2 come down tehr so u kin kech us! Ha! We's 2 smart fur U!"
Tehm Evul Skwurl Brudders run off fru teh trees doin' skwurl giggles n sech ez teh crossed ober 2 teh nex yard and teh wun affer taht, and on till Bob cud not see tehm no moar.

Mr. BobButtons sighed. "Tehm evul guys iz kumpleet ijits. W'at do u--"
Bob stopped mid-sentuns as he ternd arown fur Big Urnge...

Chapper 7: Big Urnge, MIA

Bob ternd arown & fownded taht Big Urnge wuz not behine him ez planned. He called fur staff 2 let him bak inside manchin.
Mr. Bob calld fur Big Urnge.
"Ai am up heer," him sed from bak ov sofa.
Bob hop up  on sofa to look at Big Urnge face-to-face. "U wuz s'posed to be rite behime me wile Ai kweschin Evul Skwurl Brudders! Wha'happin?"

"Oh..um, Ai git tired an need nap," sed Big Urnge. Him lik inside ov paw. Bob notice him wuz breeving hard.

"Why R U breeving so hard? Did U run all teh way bak 2 manchin from bein skerrd ov Evul Skwurls?" Bob axed, wiht his hed ternd sidways. Him wuz finking, Stoopid Big Urnge skerrdy cat!

"Um, yah, taht's it," purred Big Urnge. It wuz a sleepy purr. Tehn him restd his big urnge hed on his front paws an cloze his eyes. "If u dont mind, Ai am reddy fur moarnin nap."
Big Urnge skreched and yawned.

"But what abot mai toys! Ai mus' fine tehm!" Sed Mr. Bob. "Mai invessigayshin iz not dun!"

"Oh, fa sho M'sieur Bob" yawnd Big Urnge. "U iz so smaht. U iz bestes invesstigater. If ennybuddy kin fine tehm u will. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Hmmmmm," Fot Mr. Bob. "He iz rite wiht his big silly urnge self. Ai am Mr. Bob Buttons, masser ov mai domane!"

Tehn Mr. Bob heerd a sown ov Greenie treets bein'sprinkleded in hiz food bowl bai staff.

"TREETZ!!!" him showt. Him run 2 kichun fur noms.

TEH END

Cat Spit Misseries--Epuhsode 1-Part 2

Chapper 4: Interrogating Furs Suspek Stubby-K

Mr. Bob, wunnerful hansum & debunnare cat, wuz in a quandry ez 2 whut wuz goin' on wiht al teh cat spit on his cat toys. Noo roommate, a big urnge cat, wuz helping him scowt teh mansion perimeters fur teh skray cat whut sumtiems crossed teh territory ov his kingdom.

"Wayt!" Big Urnge stuk owt hiz paw. "Ecoute! Heer dat? Mus' be Stubby-K teh skray!"
 Bob lissened & heerd skrachin in teh weeds behine teh kingdom fence. It wuz indeed Stubby. He wuz a skray cat whut had haff a tail. Sumtiem staff lef' dry food at edge of kingdom fur him. 

"Come on owt, Stubby!" called Mr. Bob. Stubby peek owt from behine a bush.

"Look, Ai duhwan no trubbuls frum u 2day, Bob." Stubby growled.

"Nah, Ai not chasing u off 2day," sed Bob. "Ai jus' wanna know if u haz been in mai hows labeling ur spit on mai stuff lately."

"Hmph! R U kiddin'?" Stubby scoffed. "U know ur staff skerrs me! Ai onlee gits to teh edge ov teh kingdom fur food tehy leevs affer all u guys goes bak in!"

"Pish! A likely story!" sed Big Urnge. "Me, Umma bat u hed!" Big Urnge stomped his paw on teh grownd & Stubby disapeerded fru teh bushes an' wuz gone. "Skerrdy cat," Mumbled BigUrnge. 

"Wayt!" sed Mr. Bob. "Ai not exkyoos u! Ai haz moar kweschins!"

Jus' tehn staff call to say supper iz reddy & Mr. Bob & BIg Urnge run bak 2 teh mansion.

Chapper 5: Big Urnge Haz Ideer

Ez ushual Big Urnge gulped down hiz dinner an' wuz done in a flash. Mr. Bob took hiz tiem fur eeting becuz he eets polite an' is royultee. Tehn him deesided 2 recline in teh fambly room fur grooming and waching Burn Notis folloed bai NCIS. Ez he enterd teh room, much to hiz surprise he saw Big Urnge taking a fuzzy toy mows frum unner the sofa.

"Hey! Big Urnge! W'at R u doin'?!" Bob inkwired
'"Um...uh.." Big Urnge mumbuld. He dropped teh mows so he cud say: "Mais, M'sieur, Ai am moving teh mowsie so taht...um ...Stubby cannot finds it if he shud sneek into tihs house agin. Mais oui, taht's whut Ai am doing!"

"Oh... Ai see," sed Mr. Bob fotfully rubbing his chin wiht his paw. A fot camed 2 Mr. Bob's fabyoolus brane.  "Dont moov! Stay rite there, Big Urnge." He strolled to teh kichen an tookd a look et Big Urnge's food bowl. Tehn he sniffd it. Ah HA! Famillyer smelling cat spit!

"Hey! M'sieur Bob! Ai hav anudda ideer! Mebbe dem evul Skwurl Brudders been gittin' in heer!" sed Big Urnge.

"Hold it!" sneered Mr. Bob. "Lemme smell taht mows, Big Urnge."

"Wha-- why sho--Hey!" sed Big Urnge. " Oh, mon dieu! Taht mows, she be gone!"
"What?!" gasped Mr. Bob.
"Yah, taht mows Ah jus' had done disappeerd!" sed Big Urnge as he looked round. "Taht sho wuz fas' ov tehm evul Skwurl Brudders!"

"Grrr! Tohse Evul Skurls!" Bob growled. "You jus' wayt! We'll git staff 2 opun teh door so we kin hav a talk wiht tohse evul guys!"

[Part Free (3) ov Epuhsode 1 of Cat Spit Misseries will be heer b4 u kno it! ~Bob]